To Binibini Or Not To Binibini – Part One
Megan Young, Miss World Philippines2013
(This is a blog entry from Megan Young's tumblr account prior to
her Binibining Pilipinas rejection and Miss World Philippines victory)
“Iha, pwede ka sa Binibini.”
That line was one of the first comments that I heard at my very first press conference. I was only 14 then and people still tell me that to this day. To give you a back story, I did join a pageant. I was merely a kid at 12 who didn’t know what to do! Everything from walking, to to right posture, even from getting the right smile was taught to me by a friend, Mama AR. It wasn’t easy! Doing the Miss Teen SBMA (Subic) was tough since I was in my first year of high school. I have to admit, I was the lankiest kid ever! I could not walk straight. I did not have a clue what talent I would do. I literally had no idea what I was getting into. All I knew was that I was having FUN. All of the girls became really close and it felt like I belonged to a whole new family.
Every Saturday of the month would be a preliminary pageant for us. The first one would be the Talent Portion. I hated that they had this! HAHA! At that age I was thinking, can’t I just do some really cool math problem?! Hahahaha! But of course that was out of the question. Mama AR taught me an ethnic dance. It was a really nice one. But come talent night, I failed to deliver. I thought I sucked so bad. In the end though, I thought: eff it! I’m having fun! Let’s do this!
And I went on with the competition. Studying my walk everyday, going to rehearsals after class in my school uniform while in heels, selling tickets at school, padding my bra (oh yeah, pre-teen boobies AKA waley! haha). Walking the ramp was the best part for me especially in my long gown. I was so glad the talent part was over. But what I dreaded most was the Q&A portion. And in this pageant, there was a part where EVERYONE got a Q&A. I can’t remember if it was on a separate night or on the finals. I will never forget this night because it was one of my most EMBARASSING nights EVER!!! Everyone was being asked in English so I thought, “Psh, easy peasy.”
Ang tanong: Kung ikaw ay ipagkalaloob ng Panginoong Diyos na may mabago sa iyo, ano iyon at bakit?
Uhm, SAY WHAT?!
I had been in the Philippines for 2 years at that time but I had absolutely no idea what that judge said. The only thing I understood were Ikaw and bakit. Oh no. Oh no no no. The sad part was even though he Had already translated it in English, my mind was already at a blank. People were shouting answers. Some said “more wisdom” while someone in the crowd shouted “boobs” (confidence level goes down to below zero). In the end, probably after a minute of fumbling, I gave the generic answer that I wouldn’t change anything about myself. Instead of going back to my place in stage, I went straight for the back. I was so embarassed! I felt like I made a complete fool of myself. Thoughts like letting my school down were also considered because since I went to a science high school, people would have expected more of me. As soon as I left the stage, tears just started pouring. I was crying like anything. It felt like someone had sucker punched me.
At this point on, I wasn’t expecting anything. I knew that screwing up my talent portion and Q&A would really mess up my scores. But then I made it to the top 10. I scored my Q&A this time. Then I made it to the top 5. What happens next???
I didn’t get the title. Even though I was only the 2nd runner-up. I felt good. I felt so proud of myself. At that time, I couldn’t believe that I had reached that far!
Looking back at joining Miss Teen, I realized that back then I made decisions on my own.
I joined Miss Teen Subic because I wanted to.
Someone had disapproved of me joining and I quit but after a week I was back. Why? Because I wanted to be there. Because I wanted to be a part of that competition. Even though it felt like I was just playing around, at the back of mind I was being competitive! I wanted to win but I also wanted to have the time of my life.
Now we come to the present time.
“Megan join na.” “Megs, magbinibini ka na kasi.” “Ang tanda mo na, sumali ka na!” These are only a few statements that I have been hearing over and over for the past couple of months. And I’m not complaining! I am so flattered. I have always wanted to but something had always been pushing me back – I didn’t have the drive.
When I was in Miss Teen, I was pressured to do anything. I did the whole pageant because I wanted to. Heck, I joined Starstruck because I wanted to! I had the drive in BOTH situations. I want to have that drive if ever I am to join Binibining Pilipinas.
Dapat andun ako dahil gusto ko, hindi dahil pinilit ako. Gusto ko kapag nandun ako, handa na ako. 100%. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Hindi pwede sakin yung 50% lang tapos habang nandun ako, saka ko aayusin ang mga dapat ayusin.
So my answer is that, no, I will not be joining BBP12 this year but I am keeping my heart open to it.
Thank you to everyone that has been tweeting me and sending me links to forums. I’ve read everything you’ve sent. I’m so glad you all believe in me. But let me believe in myself first so that I won’t let you down.